I’m an 80’s baby. I miss the old school cartoons. Scooby-doo was one of my favorites. But I always wondered why he was always so afraid of everything. Like dude, you’re a dog; a big dog at that. I’m sure if you bark the monsters would have instantly run away. I used to get so frustrated by his cowardliness.
This post is about fear and resistance to change…
Resistance to change is an issue that many individuals struggle with. Change can be either beneficial or harmful. One problem that several people struggle with is resistance towards change due to fear. I admit I place fear in a lot of my decision-making. One of my biggest fears is failure. This causes stagnation in my efforts to improve as a decision maker. I’m working towards changing my outlook towards fear. One of my twitter buddies’ turned the word fear into an acronym.
F.E.A.R= F**K EVERYTHING AND RUN. (Think Scooby-doo and Shaggy)
I thought to myself. Dang, do I do that? If so I need to change that aspect of myself when it comes to my goals.
With hopes of being noted as a lifestyle coach I have to build upon my confidence skills. I think a lot of great business owners and CEO’s go far with their business endeavors because they are not afraid of change. If something goes wrong with plan A they will think of plan B.
I’ll give you a little story.
I relocated with my family to Florida five years ago. Prior to relocating to Florida I would regularly visit to spend time with my brother and his family. When I found out that my parents and I were moving to Florida I was not open to the move. I lived in New York all of my life. I was pretty much born and raised in the same house for 16 years. Not only did I despise moving, upon arrival I realized that the place I loved to vacation in was not a “fit home” for me. The people spoke differently and dressed differently. The only real form of transportation was by owning a car which meant I needed to obtain my driver’s license which I dreaded. I felt as though I lost my independence.
I remember calling my best friend Tatayana daily to inform her how much I despised Florida. I made little initiative to make friends while attending High School. I did not accept the change. I become “bottled up” and somewhat angry about every and anything. Rather than turning the move into a positive change I saw only negatives.
I can honestly say it took about three years for me to get used to Florida or accept the change. I took the initiative to get my license and get a car. Then I began to work, intern, and make friends in school. These subtle changes helped me realize that Florida isn’t so bad after all. Imagine if I was less resistant to change prior than the three years it took? I probably would have made more great friends and learned about more opportunities that interested me.
With this being said my Topic Tuesday Advice for the week is to become more accepting to change. If this is something you struggle with I advise you to make a list of pros and cons.
Ie: The “change would be good because…” and “the change would be bad because…”
Trust me you may surprisingly have an outweighed list of positive reasons to create a change in your life. This accounts for anything. You may be deciding to relocate, leave or begin a relationship, start a new job/ internship, make a purchase…etc
After creating my list I realized that I actually do love Florida because I was able to obtain my license, the cost of education is way cheaper, I can go to the beach all year long, my parents are more relaxed (less hustle and bustle), my neighborhood is clean, overall cost of living is cheaper.
One thing I do want you to understand though is that resistance is sometimes good. For example perhaps with relocating rather than moving this year it would be smarter to save up for about a year and a half so that you have extra funds in case something were to happen. It’s all about setting realistic goals and changes…
What’s the change that you are contemplating? How are you going to work towards looking at it positively with little to no resistance involved?
Share your thoughts below.