My Dad has this phrase that he used to quote to me every time I asked to go to a party or hang with friends back in the day.  He would say (in a stern Jamaican voice):

“Not every door bell ring yuh must answer.” 

In other words, it was a “no, you ain’t going,” “you better not ask me again,” and “remove thyself from my presence” all in one.

I hated when he said that slogan of rejection to me because I knew the door to our conversation was just sealed tight with a no.  After speaking to my father, I would then go to my mother and she would tell me to “ask your father.”

Attempt done!  Although I hated this phrase back then I currently think of it before I make all of my decisions. I’m talking with guys, jobs, extracurricular, friends, and even with making purchases.


Just because a male approaches me with decent looks, swag, and “ambition” doesn’t mean I’m going to say yes to the “ding-dong.”  It doesn’t work that way in my book.  I cherish the getting to know a guy.  If you become annoyed by my 21 questions; and believe me once I get comfortable they will come, maybe you shouldn’t talk to me.  Blame my Dad for being an example of what a real man is and blame 50 for the song.


So, I’m about to attend this ceremony.  It’s called a college graduation.  The pressure is on my head, shoulders, knees, and toes (I’ve been with my nephew’s and niece  for some hours) forgive the dramatics.  So far, I got a pretty decent job offer.  Thankfully, I am not in a dire need to obtain a job.  I refuse to start a trend of working in a job that I dread going to.  I’ve already experienced that in college and hate the feeling.


So I love helping people.  Sometimes I push myself too much and go out of my way for people; even if I know I really can’t afford to.  I’m building the courage to say “NO!”  It’s straight to the point, no need for validation or explanation. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. DONE!


I do what some might call a “two week notice.”  If we meet for the first time, exchange numbers, or communicate through social networking and I

A) do not contact you within the first two weeks


B) you’re calling me for the 15th time and I’m still not answering…

chances are I don’t really desire to be your friend.  Thankfully, I have a six sense for shady people.  I really do.  I immediately disassociate myself with fake people.  I love being around those that I care about the most.  My friends know who they are.  I could say more on this but that would of course be another blog post.


I hear chime bells when I see things that I want.  It’s like a radar goes off and I have to have the item… or rather, I think I do.  But at this point of my life I have begun to make wiser choices…Like for example, maybe if I don’t get these shoes right now I can save towards a better investment like a new car or apartment…Suzie Orman, I’ve been listening.  Trust me; this has to be the most difficult of all “doorbells.”

So my friends, what doorbells are you ringing and what doors are you closing?  Cliche’ but I’m going to say it anyway —>It’s about to be a new year.  It’s time to make some serious changes.  Together, let’s take the time out to work on ourselves, open new doors, and create new passages to success.

And to my Pops; I finally understand that you were teaching me to be selective with my decision making… Thanks Dad 🙂

Share your thoughts will me.

Thanks for reading.


7 thoughts on “Ding Dong: Answering and Closing Your Own Doors

  1. Very good, well taught and well learned. Not many daughters or sons will admit the lesson they learn from their parents, but you did and with that said continue to spread the words of wisdom.

    Our parents taught us those values and we kept them in the forefront of our minds and pass them on to our children.
    Cheers, when is your graduation.?

  2. YES!!!!!

    Seriously I’ve been going through this transition in my life. Changing my lifestyle, friends, relationships, even career choices. Your post just makes all my decisions easier. Your dad is definately right!

    Congrats on the upcoming graduation.

    1. Thanks fams! You already know great things in store for us! Just gotta shake up our surrounding sometimes. I wish you the best in your transition 🙂

  3. Insightful and enlightened post Kris, keep it up and you will be fine. The only pressure is the one we put on ourselves, and sometimes we all need pressure. It’s the only way you can create diamonds…

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